Under the 100 day mark till Paris!!!

Happy 10 Year Anniversary to us!!!

Small moments

This morning I was flustered! Ahh what a way to start the week, Monday mornings are not my friend! Woke with a headache, which was soon followed by the alarm clock. Wishing I didn't have to get up, I closed my eyes in hope that no one would need me this morning.
That was not to be, I had kids to feed, dress and get off to school!

One off to school and the other snuggled up on the couch watching Disney, I'm going to grab a moment! I was made a delicious cup of coffee this morning that was waiting for me next to the bed, well I knew I wouldn't be enjoying my cozzy bed again till that night, so I picked up my coffee to take down stairs.

On my way I opened the blind in my room to take a peek at the day. Holding my breath to see blue skies, I saw so much more! The blue skies were glowing with pink clouds from a lingering sunrise, the mountains crisply visable on the horison with a new dusting of pure snow and energetic birds flittering around enjoying a game of tag!

I first saw a seagull flying over the rooftops, a nice little reminder of the beach! Summer! Warmth! I could not take my eyes off of it, wondering if the longer I watch the more likely I would feel the warmth of a sunny beach day. It felt good!

Out of the corner of my eye, I was distracted by a red flutter. Wow what was that? I had never seen this bird before and now I had 3 of them sitting in the tree out of my window. Still no idea after googelling this beautiful bird for over an hour? This is my new mission, what bird did I see this morning?
I love these special small moments that help me appreciate all that is beautiful. I need to remember to stop and look every now and then. You have no idea how it will effect you!

Who's a pretty birdie...





Some beautiful images of birdies! I love it, makes me feel inspired to fly....

I'm so in love....

I'm totally amazed daily by how in love I am with my family!
I have the most wonderful supportive husband and boys who still love mommy snuggles!
Could life be any sweeter!

My first baby....

Fall!

What a perfect Fall weekend....Sunny, blue skies, gold and red trees and a crispness in the air that says, coats and scarf's are a must. Perfect weather for a country drive to pick pumpkins.
The taste of hot apple cider and the sound of the mud squelching under your rain boots complete the overwhelming stimulation for the senses.
Driving with the sunroof open, knowing this may be the last perfect day of the year...its great to be out in it!

Under 200 days till PARIS!!!

Friday on my mind....

I get to play with my kids tomorrow, no school!!
Having time away from my kids so I can miss them and cherish the time I do have with them!
One down, a hundred of projects to go. But man does it feel good to check one off the list.
Thomas was cracking us up tonight, while watching the monster jam (ie monster trucks) he was so excited, jumping on the couch screaming with such enthusiasm every turn and twist they made...priceless!
The love I felt from my boys tonight when I got home after being gone for only a few hours. I truly felt missed, loved and appreciated! Its a good mommy moment!!
The rain has returned to Seattle, so cool and refreshing and the most beautiful sound in the world to fall asleep too!

A new goal for this school year!

- To make the most of my time with Thomas while he is still home in the mornings.

After sending Harry off to his first day of 1st grade today, I realized that I only have one more year left of having Thomas home, then both my babies will be off at full day school! Enjoy and cherish the moments you have! This time of their life is only here for such a short time, make happy memories!

Sometimes you have to make things happen or they never will. - Master Chung

Totally the kick in the butt I needed today as I am highly motivated to get my business up and going! I can do it!
I'm the one that will and has to make it happen!

Today is beautiful.....

• Picking plums with the boys in the backyard and making a tart with them, not knowing how it will taste as it was our own recipe.
• Watching Thomas and Harry run around the yard wrestling each other, laughing!
• Doing yard work in my rain boots and my extra used, extra comfy worn in gardening gloves.
• Watering my new garden and seeing how the plants are growing...yay, I haven't killed them yet! knock on wood =)
• Surprising the boys with the garden hose and soaking them both.
• Then the boys surprising me and soaking me back...lol!
• The look and feel of freshly cut grass
• Sunshine and being able to enjoy it in my own beautiful backyard!
  

Flying kites at the beach, being with my babies, snuggling with my man and remembering my Grandma is how I want to spend today.

I didn't make it back home for Grandma's funeral today, so I will be remembering her today in my own special way.

Its sad not to be with the family, oh how I am missing them today. I can not stop thinking about the love, support and togetherness that they will all be feeling today. While I am physically not there, my mind and spirit will be there 100%.

Hayden will be speaking on behalf of the Marshall's, at first I was sad that it would not be me talking. But I couldn't get there, so we have worked out the next best thing. Hayden will speak and I will write it, with anything they want to add. My last post here is what I wrote for the funeral.

I have not worked out what I will be doing myself yet, but know I want to be at the beach with my family flying Grandmas kite.

It may be cold, gray and overcast outside, but today is a beautiful day to celebrate a beautiful life!

When I think about my beautiful Grandma, there are so many wonderful memories that come to mind.

From when we were little kids running around the yard at ridge rd, playing with glass birds on her coffee table, swinging on the clothes line or learning to play cards around the table. Being fitted for something special she was making for us to wear to a school formal or helping us get braces for our teeth.

Then there were Christmas days with all the family, Grandma’s jam filled sponge cake for your birthday, the Tupperware container that was always stocked with a fresh batch of rock cakes or mince tarts just waiting for grandchildren to devour.

Not to mention the good old “Grandma test” it was so important to all of us that Grandma liked our partners that we gave it a name. First time she would meet them, they had to pass the test. She was always there, excited to be part of our lives!

These are just a few of the many beautiful memories of Grandma, who was always there for her grandchildren.

I don’t remember an event, a birthday or a school performance that grandma was not there for. Whether it was a big event or not, it always felt special just knowing that Grandma was there, she always took an active interest in all areas of our lives.

It’s funny, when I think about Grandma, she was no ordinary Grandma. She was not the meek little old Grandma sitting in the corner of the room, just watching life go by. Instead she was an amazing woman of strength and tenacity, who had a love for life, and a true love for all those around her.

Grandma was always inspiring her Grandchildren to be active and to always live life to its fullest.

Even as an adult, she is the one I want to tell all my exciting news too.

When I found out I was pregnant, I could not wait to tell Grandma the exciting news, she was the first one I wanted to tell.

Grandma was an amazing Great Grandma or as the boys called her “Gwanny” Although they live far away and did not get to see her often, there was always a huge hug and lots of love whenever they did meet. While Thomas is still too young, I am grateful that Harry has sweet memories of his Gwanny and will always talk about Gwanny who made cookies with him.

When I travelled to Europe 10yrs ago, I received a letter from my family. The last line stated “Have a great time and make the most of every opportunity -Grandma” This has become my life’s mantra. I am inspired by this daily and will forever know that my Grandma has helped me be the person I am today.

Thank you Grandma, for loving life and your Grandchildren as much as you do. You will always be with me, in my heart and in my life.

I know this blog is about a Tres Beautiful Life, but how can life be beautiful when it is so overwhelmingly sad.

I have never lost someone so close to me before, its surreal and I am finding it hard to accept it.

How do you stop crying? How do you want to get up in the morning? Let alone how do you fall asleep at night. I have not slept in nights now, to sad to numb to sleep. Maybe even fearing that if I do sleep, I may miss a sign from her? I don't know, does that sound silly? I honestly feel like I am loosing my mind and am looking for significance in everything at the moment.

This loss is nothing I have ever experienced and I don't know what to do? All I want to do is cry or pretend it hasn't happened and show the world I am fine! I am not one that likes attention, in fact I hate it. I don't know how to show my true deep feelings now and be vulnerable with my emotions. How do I grieve while trying to stay strong and rational for my kids? Don't I need to show them I am in control and unemotional? I have no patience at the moment. I don't want to hear their bitching and whining. But I'll take any extra snuggles coming my way...agh! Am I screwing up my kids?

This sucks!

I am going to miss my Grandma's funeral and have decided (well it was too late to get a ticket) to stay here and remember her in my own way. I want to go to the beach and fly the kite she gave Thomas last week for his birthday. Find a special place out here that I can go to when ever I want to be near her.

My Grandma is the most amazing person who ever came into mylife. There is so much about my Grandma that inspires me, things she does that I think about daily.
I don't need to be there to remember how special and amazing she is...I love her so much, I told her every chance I had and she knows that! And for that I am grateful!

I have sat here starring and crying at my laptop for what feels like hours, not sure how to type or what to say, its hard enough to feel at the moment.
How do you think and function with such shocking news? When the world around you changes and you can not control it or fix it.
Can't I just stay numb and in a state of shock? I don't want to accept or imagine life without my Grandma in it.

The last few nights I have not been sleeping, thinking, praying, talking to my Grandma. Thinking of my Grandpa, my beautiful grandparents. Being so far away from my Grandma and my family has been so hard, constantly worrying about what is going on, wanting to know if anything has changed? is she awake to talk too? is she better? Not knowing is scary. I asked my Grandma last night repeatedly to please give me a sign if she was to pass. I needed to feel her presence one more time.

Tonight when I heard the news I was at a friends house, honestly I don't even remember the drive home or how I got home. Its as if I was absent for a while. That is until I got home....

I walked up the drive to hear the kids playing out the back with Dave. Walking in the front door I heard a sound coming from in the dinning room. That's odd I thought, everyone is out back. As I glanced over to the dinning table to see what was making the sound, I was shocked to see a little black bird just sitting there on the back of my dinning room chair, as if it was waiting for me to come home.
We just watched each other for a moment and then she tried to fly out the window. The boys came in all excited to see a bird in the house, they were running around and laughing. It was as if their Gwanny was having one last play with her great grandbabies.

Dave caught her with a towel as she flapped her way to the front door and was free, gone just like that.....

If anyone knows my Grandma, she loved collecting little bird figures. It was quite often something we would give her for a gift, the last little bird I gave her was a small black paper mache bird.

I am so glad my Grandma visited with me tonight!

Hold on and don't let go, bury your nose in their hair and smell the life that lives!
You can never give to many cuddles or say I love you enough!

Sadness with a strange sense of peace...

And so shocking how a single phone call can change your life.
The absolute disbelief, the surreal and emotional feeling.
Never before has the distance felt so endless.
Could it really be? Has the time come?
The moment I have been dreading and denying.

Watching others around you, who you love leave.
The elation and heartaches that you have endured.
There has to be some peace to come.
Does it bring peace knowing you will see them soon?
Whether its now, weeks, months or longer.

Waiting hoping breathing you stay for just a second longer.
One more sweet moment.
You are leaving pieces of you in me.
A sad waiting game.
The emotions of you leaving are so overwhelming.

To go on without the love of your life for over 30yrs.
To be separated from the one you love.
But can there be joy for you, the one that is now leaving?
The peace to come will be the reunion with the one who has been waiting for you.
I love you Grandma and I know when ever the time comes Grandpa is waiting to give you kisses again.

My Grandma had a Tres Beautiful Life.

Someone pinch me I'm going to France!
More details to come....woo hoo!

What a beautiful week....The white daisies in my garden
A cheeky bare bum running around the yard
Backyard volleyball with the family
Playing with friends at the park
Free kids movie day at the cimema
The sunshine that makes you want to live outside
Harry and his inventions
Thomas reading words himself
Lemonade in a tall glass with lots of ice
Pretty pink toes

Is seriously thinking of going back to school when the kids are both at school! OK, its still a year and a half away but I would love to get a degree in something and experience the uni life! hmm...what to do? I'm looking forward to it =)

Maybe something in psychology, pediatric developmental/behavioral studies, something to do with children with special needs. Lord knows I do enough research in my own time and it really has become an interest and a passion, would love to learn more in this field and help others. Its not to late for this old dog to learn a new trick, right?

Didn't want to lose this info....
http://www.northwestgardennews.com/id138.html

The Mommy Couch

As moms it is hard to be real about life and all the ups and downs. Throw in the added learning curve of a child with develpmental delays and by 10am your asking where's the wine...lol!
It is so much easier to put on a fake smile and say everything's great! No one wants to be a burden to friends or others who have their own lives full of ups and downs also. So how do you cope and find the support you need? I have started a blog for my venting on life's frustrations, mainly coping with the balancing act of a mommy! Coping with a unique child. How do I maintain my identity, is it bad to want to lock myself in the bathroom so I can have a break, life is crazy but it is all about balance, being real, and staying true to you...agh! Hopefully my blog will help with that...here's hoping!
If anyone is interested in reading about the crazy life of a mom, one who is trying to help her child through develpmental testing and learning how to live with a child with unique needs, let me know and I'll add you. Its set to private and is by invite only =)

Today is beautiful....

Thomas referring to my slippers as sheep "mommy put your sheep on!" lol!
The sound of rain providing a beautiful soundtrack to falling asleep too last night.
Waking up to see that you still have an hour longer to sleep, falling back to sleep to feel like you have just slept another 3hrs...yeah!
Coffee with a good friend and beautiful person...laughing, talking, listening, sipping coffee, eating cupcakes all while the kids place well...perfect!
Knowing my man arrives home tomorrow, I can already feel the joy from his hugs =)

I'm feeling inspired to write a kids book collection...

On the family virtues!

I have been looking for months now for preschool aged story books based on the wonderful world of virtues. All I have come across is kind of the opposite....A series based on what they shouldn't be doing rather than what they should be doing.

It kind of goes with the saying "if you tell someone NOT to think about pink elephants, guess what they will think about!" I would love a series of short stories that focus on the virtues and reinforcing what we are trying to teach them, rather than the behaviors we are trying to avoid.

My thinking is to take the 52 virtues we are studying this year and turn them in to short stories based on that virtue, coming up with a character that will teach the kids in each book. I know we have a bunny lover and a monkey lover in the group....hmmm its got me thinking!

I've always wanted to write kids books. I wrote a few while in High school and thoroughly enjoyed it. Pirate Pete was my all time fav, I'll have to dig that one out and share it!
I am using this blog as my brainstorming space for this idea, as a way to keep of all my thoughts.

Today is Beautiful....

Getting back in touch with old friends, life changing friends.
Listening to songs that take you to a special place or remind you of a favorite memory
Painting with oils while the kids are off at school
Taking the step and doing something you have wanted to do for years
The smell of homemade Lasagna cooking

Thomas made me laugh today....

Thomas potty training and doing his little potty dance after he went potty
Watching Thomas sing the songs in Annie...the sun will come out tomorrow!
Curious George now talks thanks to Thomas, so cute! You know he is talking when his head is moved from side to side and Thomas talks in a small high pitched voice...lol!
Seeing Thomas's little cheeky buns in the bathtub and giving them a big pinch
Waiting for the school bus with Thomas out in the cold. He's dressed himself in rainboots and a wool snow hat, cracks me up! All he want to do is snuggle in and keep warm.

Art by Ricki Mountain

Today is Beautiful....

Time alone looking through hundreds of second hand books, only to find the book your looking for going for a dollar!
Finding a new artist that makes you go "WOW" Ricki Mountain's work is so inspiring!
Having a space in a crazy testosterone filled house to call my own.
Finally digging out my French art isle and setting it up in a window filled corner.
Listening to the kids being bathed by daddy so I can blog

Today is Beautiful.....for so many reasons!

The first day of spring! Even though rainy and gray, the spring flowers are cheery!
Yellow Daffodils
Thomas potty training and the sight of a buba's chubby bottom running around the house
A lunch date with my man, butterflies in my tummy from being so in love!
I appreciate playdough and how it is hours of entertainment for a 3yr old
The sound of heavy rain drops
Harry's smile when he steps off the school bus

Today is Beautiful.....

Thomas is starting to feel better!
I had a good nights sleep, which always make life better.
Watching Thomas sing all the songs in Annie..."the sun will come out tomorrow"
A yummy toasted raisin bagel with butter
My yellow walls on a gray cloudy day!

Orderliness Self-Discipline Reliability Purposefulness Joyfulness

"Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our strength is more vital, our intellect keener, and our understanding less clouded. We seem better able to cope with the world and to find our sphere of influence." - Abdu'l-Baha
Joyfulness is always there regardless of what is happening on the outside. It is the inner sense that can carry us through hard times, even when we are feeling very sad.

A purposeful person makes things happen!

Being orderly makes it easier to accomplish things. Its to live with a sense of Harmony! A place for Everything and Everything in its place!

Self-Discipline is choosing to do what is right even if it is not easy! Getting things done!

Thankfulness is such a virtue...Puts life in perspective!

I feel so inspired by a good friend of mine, she is going through more than anyone should have to go though, her life really is amazing and her strength and positive attitude through it all is mind blowing! My life has ups and downs just like anyone else. This week is one of the downs, Thomas is sick and have been housebound for the week. I have been feeling...poor me!

After reading my friends blog and all that she is enduring, she finished off her post with everything that she is grateful for...so positive and so self heeling! I am feeling so inspired, thankful, positive and hopeful...thank you my friend for helping put things in perspective!

Today I am Grateful for....

1, My Beautiful Friends who are inspiring women! Real, Devoted, Loyal, Strong, Supportive, Insightful, Beautiful! This list could go on forever, but these are the qualities I really admire. When life gets hard, the people around you make it easy to get out of bed and face the day!

2, Simplicity...getting back to the little things! Appreciating the pure enjoyment from your kids toothless smile, the laugh of a 3yr old as he sings "Its a Hard Knock Life" from Annie (a little ironic), the taste of a homemade cup of coffee and knowing that you've saved a penny by getting back to the basics and doing it yourself, the perfect blue sky out my window...seeing everything as a gift for that day and savoring the feeling it gives!

3, Love Unconditional! Through all the ups and downs, emotions, burdens, tragedies, heartaches and despair. Knowing that you have family and friends that will be there no matter what is priceless! Surround yourself with those that love and are unconditional! There is no place in a relationship for judgment or expectations.

4. Being Real! Its not always easy to face the day with a smile and a positive disposition! Life can really suck at times. Sometimes you need to be Real with yourself, family and friends. To seek the support you need! The hug, the words of compassion, the smile that assures you its going to be OK.

Today is Beautiful....

Waking up too "good morning beautiful mommy!" with smiles peeking over the bed.
Eating my toasted raisin cinnamon bagel while it is still hot! A sunny day with perfect blue skies, I need to get out in it! Looking out the window to see the ground covered in thick frost that looks like snow. Feeling cozy and warm inside when it is so cold out, I love my slippers!

Today is Beautiful....

Coffee with a good friend
The sweet kisses from little lips
Holding hands on the way to the bus stop
The sight of small green Hydrangea buds on a cold sunny day
The snuggles and sound of I love you mommy
A cheeky grin from a toothless six year old